(Also I’d like to know if any of you listen to the Songs I link and if you do, what did you think of them? I realize a majority of the songs are Korean lol but like, they are what I listen to so I do hope you’re enjoying them! Also, all pictures are taken by me unless stated otherwise.)
I’ve had a somewhat average day, halfway between crappy and nice (but leaning towards crappy). I got off social media for the entire day and I realized how much content I consume through Twitter alone and it kind of scared me. A little bit only because I’ve been told by my friends that I have decent self-control. Which I should now put into action and make sure that Twitter isn’t the first thing I should wake up to.
Which was probably why I wasn’t feeling all that great today.
Which is why, as I’ve been thinking for the past few days, I’d like to share some nice things I’ve experienced in the past few weeks and spread some happy vibes on a random Tuesday. It is the beginning of the work week for me (I work Tuesday to Saturday) which could be a reason why I was feeling so blue.
(In hindsight, I shouldn’t have skipped my morning walk when I had just started again.)
Sometime in late February, my aunt and her family had come over for a few days for a family function that was happening in another end of Bangalore. They were gone the whole weekend and on Sunday, me, Pappa, Amma and Akka sat in the living room, watched some random Kannada movie that we had already watched before and munched on chips the entire evening. I don’t remember who brought them out, I just remember all of us simply taking it and munching on salt-and-khara potato chips and bonda-kadlekaayi (they’re peanuts/groundnuts that are dipped in red, spicy batter and deep fried) and store-bought tiny kodubele (it’s a delicacy that I cannot explain) and other fried junk. I found peace in our harmonious crunches and practiced movements of passing the snacks one after the other.
I had to travel for work and stay at a small town just a couple of hours away from Bengaluru for a few days. And while I’m still salty about the whole experience and how a lot of things were inconvenient for me, especially at the place where we stayed, I can’t deny how beautiful it was. The place was at a small hill top and the second night that we stayed there (after the first night-mare), it was so peaceful that I didn’t want to sleep so early. I hung with with a bunch of people where one of them read out a part of a book (with accent and all; I cried) and then, outside the hall we were sleeping in, there was a porch of sorts so I thought I could sit there for a little while I read under the stars. And it was a hell of an idea. The stars were bright and blue and MANY in number, with not as much pollution around and the moonless sky felt like it had split open a blue and silver glitter packet open in a hurry. It was gorgeous. By that time, J-hope’s Hope World had just celebrated its third year anniversary so a full track of Blue Side had been posted. So I played that, watched the stars and sat there for god knows how long until I felt my heart swell with peace and happiness that had become so alien to me.
The last picture has the porch I mentioned.
Mishel texted me a few days before my birthday asking if I was free on Saturday. I met up with her for a little while after work. Usually, when I used to meet Mishel, it used to feel like a phenomenal, once-in-a-lifetime moment. But we found our groove in Bangalore in a way that works for the both of us and meeting her so casually, so suddenly, still feels very surreal. We were little emotional in the beginning but then we settled into our comfortable silences, sharing stories and walking along Church Street, hand-in-hand and evading scammers with practiced trust. I only hope I get to do that with all the people I love.
On my birthday, my childhood friends (friends of nearly 16 years!) surprised me with their presence and an amazing cake (that Akka designed and had it made by one of them, who has a small business!) and so much happiness. I hadn’t seen them for longer than a couple of hours in the entire year, despite living only 10 minutes away from them.
In the beginning of March, I had to work on a Monday. I worked for half a day and spent the other half in a cafe, with my laptop, listening to music and writing. I found a drink that I really liked (iced mocha) and had a sandwich for lunch and spent around 5 hours simply writing. I had dreamed of it for so long (sitting at a cafe, writing) and it finally came true and I have fallen in love. Even as I felt slightly wistful and melancholic as people came into the cafe in two’s and three’s and I occupied a table all by myself, there was some peace in knowing how much you enjoy your own company.
From mid-February, the weather had been getting warmer and it had been raining leaves. The chill still stayed, but the warmth creeped up slowly and the shift in the air was so pleasant. This transition period, like I had mentioned in my previous post, is my favourite.
Bangalore has now become Pink Bangalore, with these roadside trees bursting with pink blossoms. They were our very own, local cherry blossoms, though they didn’t really smell like anything. And the city was bathed in this pink. It is definitely something I had missed the last couple of years and the all those years before that, I never really had the chance to appreciate the beauty. I’ve been clicking pictures of it every chance I get and I’m not sick of it at all. (I was also wondering-how in Japan the fallen cherry blossoms form a pink carpet on the floor of the parks and when I looked down at the fallen, pink Tabebuia flowers [it’s the name of those pink blossoms-I only just learned it recently], they’re no more pink. They’re brown and dirty and rotten and mixed with the black of the road and brown of the mud. Is this also how it looks like in other countries where cherry blossoms blooming is a gorgeous event? How no one looks down at the fallen beauties that rot away and have been only momentarily appreciated? Just a thought.)
Some of the pink Tabebuia trees that I’ve seen around the city (around my area).
I had been able to speak with my friends more than usual in these few weeks and they have made me so happy. Some of our birthdays fall a week apart from each other and getting gifts from them made me miss them a LOT but I had never felt closer (except that one time last year, just after my birthday, we were all due to leave the hostel immediately and spent the entire night speaking and slept only when the sun rose). I had video called another friend of mine who also happens to be my birthday twin (!!) and even watched part of one of my favourite Ghibli films (Whisper of the Heart) with her. They’ve all happened on different days and on days I’ve had minimum interactions with them are days I’m generally low. I’ve been able to sleep better knowing that they’re doing well, too.
I have been having so much fun writing these days that I’ve fallen in love, all over again. There’s this one piece that I’m working on and the planning went so well. I’ve not finished it and I’m currently stuck in some parts (even with all the planning lol) but I’ve loved writing very single minute of it. I don’t know if I’ll ever put it up but it’s currently my favourite thing in progress.
Yesterday, one of my aforementioned childhood friends called me to ask me something about art supplies. She wanted to try painting so I took her to my regular store and even as I had originally not planned on buying much (gasp) I bought some new stuff to try and got a discount with how much of a regular I am at that store. It was a really hot, sunny day but I had so much fun, just walking around, seeing the happy expressions on my friend’s face. I had missed it terribly.
In the midst of all these, I have had some terrible days. Days when I’ve been so angry that I’ve not been able to think or breathe properly. Days when I’ve been unable to move. Days where I had woken up thinking I didn’t want to face the day. But then, some of these nice things happened on these days. So are they really bad days with some nice moments or do the nice moments neutralize the bad days making them simply average? I like to see it as the former. It makes me appreciate the nice moments even more.