It’s a bright and sunny day here in Bombay. It’s rarely ever sunny here, and even though the world is crashing upon me and my classmates today, it is a really good day. I wish I could sit outdoors and do my work.
The only way I wanted to celebrate the 4th anniversary of this blog was with a nice cup of hot and strong filter coffee. And I’m delighted to say that I had two cups today, along with a so many types of South Indian food, so hello, productivity!
I’m so proud to share this day with the day that the Indian Supreme Court decriminalized consensual gay sex. It is a huge step in the country and I am so happy that it happened.
Last year, I had hoped that I would be in a different city next year. Things never go the way I planned but this is the one thing that has been right so far. I am in a different city, and life away from home is not how I always thought it would be. It’s not scary at all. It’s peaceful and liberating and yes, sometimes it can get lonely but it’s an experience that I will always cherish and never, ever regret taking.
From September 6, 2017 to September 6, 2018, I feel like I’m a different person altogether. I can’t seem to remember who I was when I wrote that post last year because this girl has grown. I can’t even begin to think about how I’ve changed from last year, much less, how much. I’m learning things everyday, so much that I cannot even make a list of them all. I’m learning a new language; I’m learning to live in different new cultures; I’m learning to cope with a new level of stress and I’ve been more myself here than anywhere else. I think the city of Bombay does that to you.
And, unlike how I kept saying last year that I had second doubts about blogging in general, I’ve never felt that way this year. Of course, I’ve been blogging scarcely these days, and for me, it’s okay to be rare. A few weeks ago, Naveen told me how one of his friends, who is an avid reader of this blog, was wondering why I haven’t been writing more often these days. And I was speechless. People do care, even if I don’t know about them. I’m really happy that people can remember such tiny, trivial things and go about asking about me even if I was a total stranger. I felt strangely honoured.
I’ve watched more than 15 K-drama since then (excluding a few which I had rewatched with Akka) and I don’t even have a count of how many films I’ve watched. I love my weekly outings that I take on Sunday late afternoons for light shopping and a cup of filter coffee. I’ve loved every day living in this city, even though I miss home with every fibre of my being. The people around me are the least judgmental, most open-minded that I’ve ever seen. I feel like I’ve become one of them fully now. I no longer feel awkward sitting alone because that kind of solitary is rare when you know so many people so I cherish the times I eat alone. I’ve become physically active since the past week, and my body has been so attuned to getting up early that I can pretty much wake up a minute before my alarm goes off at 6:13 in the morning. I’ve also began eating breakfast, which is a feat for me because I cannot remember a single day when I ate breakfast when I went to college in Bengaluru.
There are days when I feel uncontrollably sad. There are other days where I am giddy to the point of annoying myself. And on sleep deprived days, I cannot remember or control what I am doing or saying. But all this is just a part of this phase in my life and whatever happens, I know I can always turn towards my blog and just write and not worry about it because it feels like an extension of my soul now. It feels like it’s one part of myself that I can rely on no matter what. I don’t have to worry about getting period cramps or less sleep or laziness because it’s always there. No matter what.
I’ll still be here when it’s five and I hope I can make this world feel better, even if it’s an infinitesimally small part of it.
And I made the header all by myself!