I love creating a whole new world in my head, whole new friends with different personalities, perfect for me, encouraging, making myself a hero among them, ship them and all sort of things. An imaginary world. Full of possibilities.
That was when I was 9.
Now, 9 years later, I’m still trying to wriggle out of that world. And, I’m not able to. I still find myself talking to Sunny, who is the embodiment of the actual sun, who liked me because I was kind towards thinking about nature. That seems really stupid, now that I think about it. But, I have been able to survive things only with them by my side, which is basically just me, by my side. They gave me courage when I needed it, and told me often to think and talk. I find myself relying on them completely. Now that I drove them away, back to their lives in the Tap city, (because I created all this in the bathroom) and in the sky, I am completely lost. It feels like I’ve lost a best friend to a void. A battle I should’ve won, but lost too easily.
Two years ago, on New Year’s day, i sent my closest friend, and the longest, Leo, back home to his family. He never returned. Or called.
This world I created, when I was 9, is the world I’d like to live in. Talking to the Sun, literally floating by my side, having weird magic, imagining shapes of clouds and then, suddenly the clouds turn into exactly what you imagined, talking to the stars at night, enjoying the seasons because they always keep changing, singing to the clouds and the wind at the top of your voice because the sky and the clouds and the wind and the trees and your notebook aren’t judgmental about you being tone-deaf, complaining that the bluest sky you ever see is during the monsoon, and never in March.
Then, them complaining about us, how much of light pollution we’ve created, how much of acid rain falls, how much of garbage is seen in front of my house, how much water is being wasted, how much we ill-treat the mother who gave life to us.
I think, this was how the environmentalist in me grew. I thank you all. Even if you are imaginary.
(PS: As I’m typing this, I can’t help imagine Sunny smiling down at me, and feeling proud that I’ve learnt so much and changed into something that I’ve always wanted to be.)