As you can see, I have quite the collection. I do wish I had more, though.
I think this fetish for notebooks started when I started writing. I wanted to keep all my ideas in one place and in a beautiful covered notebook. So, I took one of my dad’s company’s tiny spiral bound notebook, made a cover by myself and wrote all sorts of things in it. I put post-its, which were way bigger than the notebook, just to give it a sort of ‘busy’ and creative look.
Some of these have been written in. Some have not. The problem is I can never find content good enough to fill up these beautiful notebooks.
The most personal of them is the brown one on the bottom left. I use that 2009 diary as a personal journal till today. And will continue to use it until the pages run out. I don’t write everyday as I’d planned in the 7th standard, and writing in it has become very scarce since the last few years. In 2009, when I started, I ended up writing 22 times the whole year. I don’t think I’ve even opened the journal in 2010 as there was nothing written in that year. I had written 24 times/dates in 2011, 23 times in 2012, 31 times in 2013, 9 times in 2014 and 5 times in 2015.
His wonderful gold hair brushed across his face, his closed up features and the fact that he is a beach person adds everything up. He is AWESOME!
The above is a quote from my diary describing my most recent crush in 2013, Hayden Quinn.
What I love about this notebook is that the changes that have happened in me are clearly reflected in my writing. My handwriting is a very noticeable thing. In 2012-13, it was so pretty. But before and after, I was scribbling in it as if my life depended on it.
I have these things called “Mood:” on the top. Some moods are completely ordinary, like ‘Sad’ or ‘happy’ or ‘Angry’. Then if I’m too happy, there’s ‘Ecstatic’ or ‘Euphoric’or ‘Excited’, which are mostly pertaining to books. Sometimes, there are a few deep ones, like ‘Realization’, ‘Questioning’, ‘Is There A Word For So Much Sadness and Pain?’ (It was for a movie called Remember Me) and then we have the classic ‘Lost in Memories’ and ‘Frustration’ and ‘Hope’ and a mixture of these and various other moods at that time. No two entries have the same mood/s. For me, this is what makes my *occasional* journaling experience fun and exciting.
I noticed that as the years passed by, I started writing more about all the times that I felt angry, or sad or unfair, put all my repressed negative feeling into it. It’s because I realized the hard way that people will listen to your joy more than your anger and sadness.
You cannot flip through this book without making a few tens of newspaper clippings falling down. A few of these are photos of my favourite South African cricketers (why SA, I don’t know), some really good articles on art, literature and food. A few lists: a list about what I should do when I have my own laptop, or phone or iPod, a list of the books that I need to buy, a list on the places that want to visit, bits and pieces of practice papers covered with fandom stuff and doodles, stickers and chocolate wrappers.
Among those notebooks, three of them are handmade. The top-most one with the thread, the blue one next to it and the multi-colour-squared one in the right middle. I bought them mainly for the sake of them being handmade. They are acid free and they smell absolutely gorgeous. I bought two of them in college, the blue one being made by the physically challenged people and the Indian-printed one, from Mangalore. Both of thses were bought a few days prior Christmas, and i still haven’t any idea what I’ll write in it.
The ‘Sitdown-o-pedia’ is a Cafe Coffee Day notebook, with some really quirky posters inside! I made my parents buy a coffee percolator for this notebook 😀 This is completely unused. I haven’t even written my name.
The bottom right one, the green-gold one is a notebook for all the people that have some thing to write about me. They write good stuff, but I was secretly hoping for something that they didn’t like in me. But people are too nice.
The Sun Signs diary was my dad’s but I flicked it from him. He’ll probably use it for something boring like a day planner or a budget book. I’ll use it for something more fun. Again, completely empty.
I don’t know what I’m going to write in these books. I’ll keep them until I find the right time to write in them. Hopefully, that day will come soon.