For almost a month and a half, I was inactive. It was mostly because of exams. I was in a crucial position the second half of March and first half of April where I had to choose between writing and passing my 4th semester chemistry paper.
And now that I’m back, I can’t seem to get into the zone. As soon as my exams got over, I turned towards so many other things in order to escape writing. I coloured in my Escape to Wonderland adult colouring book with Akka; I made bookmarks and still am making postcards; I wrote letters to two people in the US; I learnt hand lettering; I read; I went trekking with my friends; I made time for myself and my girlfriends to hang out; Tumblr. became my refuge; I cleaned out 4 of my shelves and my very messy, very dusty study table; made the hardest decision of my life: to sell away my 70-odd issues of Tinkle in order to shop for more books.
At one point before my exams, I was just so zoned out and out of focus and lost all motivation in life and couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t study without this burning feeling in the pit of my stomach that whatever I’m doing now will never matter in the end. That’s when I looked towards Zentangling. I soon figured out that I was no good, but I found a part of the inspiration that I lost.
But now, finally sitting here, after dragging myself away from Superwoman and Button Poetry on YouTube, I had to keep reminding myself that I love doing this, and that this was what kept me going for a long time. It feels so hard. I find it unbelievable that I did this more than 5 times a week on a busy college week.
I’m going to start over. I’m going to watch movies, blog, write and enter a short story to the Deccan Herald’s Sunday Herald Short Story competition and try my best to win.
And I’m not waiting for a Monday.