Posted in Me, prompt, prompts, Writing

Two scenes, one Result

A Source Of Anxiety

Scene 1: With a group of people or just a person I’m not very comfortable with or feel that I’m too below them:

Action: I open my mouth to speak about a really nice movie that I watched or an amazing piece of poetry that I read.

Inside my head:  My brain cells are practically exploding. They are screaming; they are banging on the walls to stop me from talking and making a fool out of myself. They say: Why the hell do you try?! They’re just not going to care! They’ll give you blank looks and then they’l pretend to not have heard and then they’ll move on and YOU’VE got to  plaster a fake smile just so you can show that IT’S OKAY. IT’S NEVER OKAY. SO JUST SHUT UP. 

And you do shut up.


Scene 2: With someone you really really love and care about *cough* family *cough*

Action: I open my mouth to speak about a really nice movie that I watched or an amazing piece of poetry that I read.

Inside my head: My brain cells laugh at me. They know what’s going to come. Hell, they’ve been seeing it every single effing day of their lives! Even the new born ones. They know that I’m going to say how awesome my day was and then they know that those people will just say something like, “What’s your point?” because somewhere in the midst of my story, I would’ve lost them and I wouldn’t have even ended the story because then my confidence would’ve been all sucked out from me and then I’ll just slowly fade into the background and pretend I don’t exist.

And of course, you do shut up, in the end.


I don’t know which is worse: the constant shouting or the complete silence.

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Books and mail make my day :) I'm slowly discovering art. But crafts help me lift my mood. Writing is important. Family is the best.

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