Song of the post: Today by O.WHEN
I have been meaning to write this for a while now. It’s been ruminating in the back of my head for weeks now, opening up a blank document in my head and adding ideas which I will soon forget, but adding bits and pieces of it anyway. Simply because I haven’t had the energy to actually open up a word document and word vomit everything.
I think I began thinking of this when I was filling up my planner. I recently bought an undated planner because I had little to no patience to sit and make myself simple bullet journal spreads that I’m not happy about. I have no time or patience for more elaborate ones so I thought it would be nice if I found a pretty planner. I bought an undated one because there was some comfort in adding in dates and months by myself, like I could control that one bit of life at least. It’s a Sunday morning routine to fill it up after breakfast.
After breakfast, everybody at home is too full to move so we just relax in our parents’ room with the balcony door open to let the sunlight in and just scroll through our phones silently for an hour or so. Usually my phone is charging during that time so I get my planner and pens and my watercolor pencils and sit and fill up that week.
Most days I leave blank. I refuse to use it for work and if I have to mention it at all, I’ll simply say, “work anxiety” or “too much work” or “snapped at work”, if at all. If something significant has happened, I usually remember so I can make a note of it. Other days, I am blank. “What the heck did I even do on Thursday?”
That’s when the documentation comes in. On days where I don’t feel like myself, or don’t like the way I’m feeling, I write it all down, trying to flesh out the reason why I’m feeling this way. It doesn’t work, a lot of times, but it does make me feel a little bit lighter. It’s a trick that I learned the hard way.
On days I don’t remember what I did, or happened, I open up my chats and to my friends or opening up my gallery to see the pictures or screenshots I captured that day. Then I get distracted and forget about it for a few minutes.
The heavy weight of the planner sitting on my lap brings me back. Then I draw a couple of illustrations and wrap up that week.
That’s when I kept thinking if there are other ways other people document their lives.
An Instagram story, a Tweet, their notes app, a tiny notebook filled with indecipherable pencil scribbles, a doodle or maybe just their very reliable memories. Or maybe you don’t want to remember how your days went by. That’s true for me sometimes, even though I do wonder, “how did I spend my day?”
It’s a Monday, a day off for me and I am so tired by doing nothing. I might paint for a bit later but there’s so many things I have lined up but end up doing nothing. I kind of feel bad about it but these days I don’t have the energy for much so I guess it’s okay?
It’s all I can tell myself at this point.
Do you document your days? Do you like to do it? Or do you prefer to just move on with your days without wanting to remember and reflect on how yesterday was? Tell me, I’d love to know.